CONFESSIONS OF AN AVID FAN

(The penetrating pain of addiction)

I'M NOTHING!!!

I'm still like the thousands of girls begging to touch their tender hands.

Even if I got the LOUDEST LAUGH*, and the LOUDEST SHOUT it is still
like a COMMON sound to their ears.

We're thousands of miles apart, yeah seriously, a thousand!! We speak
different languages! Even if I'll use the Universal language**duh?!!?
They can't even understand me!.huhuhuh=(

Am I really that unfortunate or is it really just the way HE planned it to be??

Being unkown and nothing to them feels like there are hundreds of
pins being pushed through your heart, thousands of nails
being pounded in, millions of sharp axe cuts!!..
phew!..It really freaking hurts!!!

They are just ordinary boys but they have this extraordinary charisma
and outstanding attitude that a girl like me CAN'T RESIST.

But the BIG thing is...

For them, I'm JUST one of the thousands of the ORDINARY fans.

Yeah, JUST A FAN!!!

A fan hoping to meet them so that I can be someone in their life.
That I can be a big part of their journey. Longing that i can change
the way they look at LOVE. Eager to give them pieces of advice as they
face challeges and trials in life.

IDOLIZING them seems like a total JERK!
I try and try to control myself in handling this addiction but I just can't!
I JUST CAN'T!! and the most unfortunate result!! I'm just the one
hurting myself back!! duh!!! ENGRAVING PAIN!

Here's what I always day-dream about:

I just WANT to see myself with them in a very memorable MOMENT but
I NEED to be at their side till ETERNITY.

The throbbing feeling of pain will always be experienced by my heart.
It's like being tightly squeezed by 13 pairs of hand! At this point,
I'm BEGGING myself to accept the fact that I'm just an ORDINARY FAN!
...it hurts a lot ='(...


--iLuVpiNk--